A Step by Step Guide to Performing the Rock & Roll Pyramid

In all the world of music there may be nothing as spectacularly breathtaking as the rock & roll pyramid. It is equal parts musicianship, athleticism, and fearlessness. It represents everything good and right about rock & roll, and your band should start doing it. Now.

Why, you ask? Because it looks super bad-ass. That's why.

Now that I've convinced you, here is my 10-step guide to nailing this difficult stunt without breaking your neck.

10. Practice it at band practice before trying it onstage. Duh. Before performing it onstage check for low ceilings, ceiling fans, cables and lighting hanging from the ceiling, and any other ceiling related obstacles. Also check that you have adequate stage room. That six foot drop at the front of the stage is not nearly as far away as it seems when it comes time for the dismount.

9. Agree on when you will be doing it. Know the song and the exact timing. Make sure everyone is hip to it. R&R pyramids only work if the entire band functions seamlessly. If even one guitarist misses their cue because they are too busy dicking around with their effects pedals the entire pyramid will collapse, resulting in injury and possibly death.

8. Know the song down cold. You will be too busy looking super bad-ass to watch your fingers or concentrate on your timing while doing this trick. This isn't the time for deep introspection. Now is not the time to be engaging your audience!

7. The guitarists begin forming the base of the pyramid by putting their inside feet together. This provides stability. Then they squat....the deeper the better. A good, deep squat creates a more level platform for the singer to stand on.

6. The guitarist on the right needs to rotate his neck forward so that it is facing directly toward the audience. Otherwise it will get kicked upon dismount. In our band, the guy on the right is me. I'm the one in the goggles in the photo above. See how my neck is pointing straight forward? Do it like that.

5. The bassist then kneels, crouches, or simply passes out centered in front of the guitarists. You will notice they do not form a structural part of the pyramid. I think the reason is obvious.

4. Drummers, keyboardists, horn players, backup singers, promoters, sound guys, mic techs, groupies, or any other people onstage are not allowed to participate. R&R pyramids are only for cool people.

3. The vocalist mounts the R&R pyramid from the rear (uh-huh-huh...) by grasping the guitarists' shoulders and stepping up on to their thighs. It's pretty much the same as stepping up on to anything else you've ever stepped up on to....except awesomer.

2. Once the vocalist is in position and stable, they let go and immediately make devil horns with their fingers, and an "F- YA!" face. At this time everyone else in the band should also be making an "F- YA!" face. Here's why: when making an "F- YA!" face your eyes are automatically forced into a squint. This will protect them from all the harmful camera flashes that will be exploding all over throughout the audience. Here is another example:

1. Once the successful R&R pyramid has been achieved, the singer dismounts to the front in some kind of super bad-ass fashion, and the other band members go about their business like nothing ever happened. You know how in the movies when super bad ass dudes walk away from explosions without even looking at them, like they are so cool they don't even care? It's like that.

I hope this guide has helped you to not only understand why your band needs to incorporate a R&R pyramid into its show, but how to pull it off safely and effectively.



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